


you've done me wrong for a long, long time

by lunaves



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Original Work, The Pink Order Campaign
Genre: And yet, F/M, Neglectful Mothers, angst (so much), i forgot about circe to be honest, rightfully angry children, rip circe, this was meant to be written to My Love Will Never Die by Hozier, this went in a totally different direction than what I had planned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 09:32:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19170535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunaves/pseuds/lunaves
Summary: Velvet returns for the first time in five years to the Castle of the Gods. Not everyone is happy to see her.





	1. all you have is your fire

Velvet hadn't expected her return to the Castle of the Gods to be this… stressful. 

 

Upon reaching the arching doorways, where the sunlight reflects off the golden frame, Velvet feels her anxieties sooth away slightly.  _ Home, finally _ , she thinks to herself as she steps through.

 

Though nothing could quite prepare her for the flood of people rushing to greet their lost Sun Queen, the amount of voices telling her that Solaric has been missing his Queen oh so much. She wishes they'd be correct, even if she knows it's unlikely.

 

"I'm sorry, but I won't be able to stay for very long. May I go see my husband and children, please?" She asks with the nicest voice she can muster at the time, her exhaustion peeling through. As the crowd parts, Velvet stifles a relieved sigh as she walks through, smiling at her people and waving as she knows to do

 

By the time she gets through, her first priority is to check in on at least some of her kids. She knows few remained when she left, she doubts they all stayed. Or remained alive. She runs off, eager to find one of her babies and apologize to them profusely, to hold them in her arms again. To see her sweet loves.

 

The first of the kids she runs into is Calliope. Her eldest, her shining star, her true second. But she looks… terrible. Her golden hair is choppy, her eyes seemingly blank, her movements looking achey.

 

As soon as Calliope sees her, though, her face turns sour and she frowns. Velvet tries to ignore that and hold her arms out to her daughter.

 

"My sweet Calliope, my lovely girl! I've missed you so much. How have you been?"

 

Calliope looks at her, exhaustion and anger filling her eyes as she stares blankly at her mother.

 

"Callie?"

 

Calliope walks towards her, and Velvet's heart swells with the love and adoration she's wanted to give.

 

But Calliope strides past her, not looking back. As Velvet swirls to call out to her, she sees the horrific sight of her daughter's wings: ripped, nearly burnt off, full of open patches. With no chance to voice her shock or concern, Calliope breaks off into a sprint, jumping off of the palace's balcony. Velvet watches her daughter drop in horror, even as she watches Calliope rise up, almost like a phoenix, and fly off into the open sky. Velvet runs to chase after her once she recovers from her shock slightly, nearly jumping to follow until she remembers her own wings had been ripped off. Velvet watches her daughter go in heartbreak, gripping the balcony until her knuckles turn white.

 

"Momma?," she hears a small voice behind her say, "Is that you? Are you back?"

 

Velvet whips around to see her youngest girl, Andromeda, looking at her as if she thinks it's an illusion. 

 

"Maeda? Oh, come here my baby." Velvet coos, running to her and lifting her young daughter into her arms, kissing along her head with an almost muffled sob.

 

"Momma! Callie and the Charlie's said you weren't coming back! They told me I should get used to it!"

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"Callie said that you don't raise us, that she does. She said you wouldn't come back."

 

Velvet stiffens, kissing her daughter's forehead softly. "I… I'm so sorry, Maeda. I'm sorry my love. I'm here now. I… I can't stay. Do you want to come with me, my baby? I'll take care of you, I promise. You can live with some other siblings and I'll be there anytime you want. I've been a terrible mother…"

 

Andromeda hugs her mother tighter, her small body held tightly within Velvet's arms. "Oh, momma… it's okay. You came back, so it's okay. Pyxis said you'd come home. He was right!"

 

Velvet pulls her head away from Andromeda's, laughing sadly through her tears. Velvet looks at her little girl closer with motherly pride: even though she had been gone for five years, her baby had grown up to maintain her innocence, her divine starlight beauty. The mauve colour of her hair shimmering in the golden light, her green eyes piercing through strong still. 

 

And yet it makes her feel like shit even more. She's had three years to come back to her family, and she didn't.

 

She sets her daughter down before the tears become more evident. "Go collect what you need to, baby. I'm going to go talk to your father, okay?"

 

Andromeda goes to nod before pausing. "Charlie said that daddy isn't my dad. She called you a-"

 

"I know. But that's your daddy no matter what anyone says." 

 

"Okay. I've missed you, momma." Andromeda adds, smiling up at Velvet.

 

"I missed you too, Maeda. I'll come get you before I go, okay?"

 

Andromeda's smile, Velvet thinks, could light up the whole palace. Before Velvet gets a true chance to appreciate it, her daughter is nodding and running off to go collect what she can, what she wants, so she can return with Velvet. Velvet watches her daughter go with a sad smile, wiping away her tears as she makes her way to the throne room.

 

As she closes in on the throne room, she sees another familiar being: her sweet Circe, the last of her children to be born prior to Solaric's power-crazed mind overtook him. Her little firecracker, always looking for her father's approval.

 

"Circe?" 

 

The firechild turns towards her in fear, nearly drawing her sword on her own mother. Once she recognizes who it is, she slowly puts her sword back into the scabbard at her side.

 

"...Mother." She responds, as if testing the word out again.

 

"Oh, come here, my love! I've missed you. Are you not going to give me a hug?"

 

Her daughter looks at her blankly for a moment. By now she nearly towers her tiny mother, and even though Velvet knows Circe must resent her for leaving too, she holds her arms out. 

 

It's when Circe hesitates to hug her that she puts her arms down with a sad smile, but she takes her daughters hand anyways.

 

"I'm a terrible mother, I know. I'm sorry. I could give you a million reasons why I'm a bad mother. I never wanted to be, Circe. I wanted to be there for all of you. I know it can't make up for it, and I don't expect you to forgive me, but may I explain why I've kept away?"

 

Circe looks at her hesitantly. "I… yes. Okay."

 

Velvet takes her daughter's hand, leading them to the same balcony she just watched another daughter leap from.  She sits down on the bench there, hoping Circe sits with her. It takes all she has to not be audibly relieved when she does.

 

"...I have no real excuse for what I have done. I… I always wanted what was best for you all. But I never had a real family growing up. To be honest, I don't remember much of my childhood. I never realized that when you do have a mother, you don't want her absent all the time. I should have been there for all of you. I never thought about the impact. I was always too busy doing all I could to please your father. It worked, Circ. He loved me once. And then he stopped. So I tried harder, and in the process forgot to share the love with my children, who needed it far more. I left Calliope to pick up the pieces. She raised you, and she did a damn good job of it. She hates me now, and I completely understand why."

 

"...Father never once paid attention to her. Even after her wings got… mutilated."

 

"How?"

 

"She never told any of us younger ones."

 

Velvet frowns further, taking her daughter's hand into her lap. "She's… gone."

 

"Calliope? Do you mean dead?"

 

"I hope not. She saw me and ran. She leapt off this balcony and flew away. I couldn't stop her."

 

"Why?"

 

Velvet turns to her daughter further and looks her in the eyes. "When I left five years ago, I never wanted to leave. I was… taken, more or less. Really, your father let me go with little fight. Where I went wasn't always… bad, but the person who took me was much like how your father is now. He took my consciousness, threw it into some other body until I couldn't stay in any longer at one point. He… he ripped my wings off of my back. Both of them," she registers her daughter's look of shock, but carries on, "and then dropped me onto the mortal plane. Likely hoping I'd die there. Instead, I found refuge in a church not unlike the one's people pray in for your father. Though it wasn't for any Gods like him, it was… a new one. I shouldn't have stayed because of that, but I did."

 

"Why?"

 

"I was taken in by a man named Cain. We lived together for a while. He became my best friend. He'd dance with me, wipe my tears away when I woke with nightmares. He helped me through a lot. I love him, you know. Not romantically, not anymore, but I couldn't bear to lose him."

 

"So you forgot about your kids for him."

 

Velvet shakes her head quickly. "No! No, of course not. I thought about all of you every single day. I wanted to come back, believe me."

 

Circe rips her hand from her mother. "Why didn't you, then?" 

 

"I don't know. Truly. I hate myself for it, Circ."

 

"You should."

 

"I do. Will… will you come back with me?"

 

"Really? After all this, you aren't staying?" 

 

Velvet's heart breaks at the outrage her daughter has, the resentment she feels towards her mother. And she doesn't blame her. Not even once.

 

"I can't. I promise one day I'll be able to. But right now, I have to go fight. One day, Circe, I'll tell you the rest. We can sit by the fire and I'll tell you the rest. About why I couldn't come home."

 

"And you can't now why?"

 

Velvet sighs. "This castle has ears everywhere, my princess. I hope things will make a little more sense when I can explain, but for now, all I ask is you come with me. I want to do all I can to be a good mother now. I want to be there for you. Andromeda is coming with me, too."

 

"You know they call her a bastard child, mother."

 

"She very well could be. But to me, all that matters is that she is my daughter."

 

Circe considers her options for a minute. She doesn't want to go, really. But she wants to know what's so secret her mother can't tell her now.

 

"...I'll go."

 

The young Sun princess doesn't miss the look of happiness and relief flood her mother's face, and before she can stop herself, she pulls her mother into a hug and lets her own tears flow, relieved to know that her mother at least still cares for her and her siblings.


	2. don't you ever tame your demons

Velvet's breath quickens as she enters the throne room once more, her golden eyes flickering around the golden room, so bright, yet so… dark. She looks at the true entrance, where her people would walk through, remembering the way she once dragged a sword behind her through those same doors, breath ragged and hoarse. The scrape of pure silver against the gleaming surface of pure porcelain. For a minute, she thinks she sees blood covering the floors and pooling through the tiles. She gags slightly as she remembers all she's witnessed in this one room: the executions of her sons and daughters, of her people, of who her husband once was. 

 

"Velvet." A booming voice echoes through, breaking the silence and terror her mind sees. She knows exactly who calls her name, and everything in her body screams not to turn to him even as she does.

 

"Solaric. Oh, how I've missed you." She tells him. She curses silently to herself as her voice cracks no matter how hard she tried to keep it steady.

 

His cold stare bores into her, covering her skin in goosebumps even if she's seen it time and time again. His eyes linger on the ring she keeps upon her finger, their ring, to the faltering calmness on her face.

 

"Why have you returned?"

 

"Am I not supposed to see my people, Solaric? My children?"

 

His eyes narrow at her as he stands from his throne, his steps echoing through the empty room.

 

"The same children you abandoned? As if I haven't seen you walking the mortal plane. As if I wouldn't recognize you, even without the wings you seldom used."

 

She keeps his gaze, determined to beat the anxiety coursing through her, filling every ounce of ichor in her body with new.

 

"And yet I'm back now. I wanted… Sol, I missed you."

 

He doesn't show any flicker of emotion as he stares down at her almost lifelessly. "And?"

 

She sighs, shaking her head and taking his hand. She feels him try to pull it away, but she keeps her grip firm as she presses her lips to their wedding ring, her eyes fluttering shut. "I wish you were still the man I fell in love with."

 

"He's long gone now, Velvet."

 

"I know." She pushes past him, towards the room she keeps every last gift she's kept from Alucard, and takes what she can. Whatever she can fit on her body, is light enough, and reminiscent of the happiness her children bring her. She notices Solaric keeping an eye on her from his throne again, but she ignores that he's there as she walks out.

 

"Velvet?" She hears him say again, and her heart swells with the idea that maybe, just maybe, he'll tell her he loves her again or apologize for the harm hes caused their family.

 

"Yes?"

 

"What happened to the Sun Crown?"

 

Velvet tries not to let her disappointment and heartbreak show.

 

"I wouldn't know."

 

She mutters one last string of  _ I love you _ s into the suddenly colder room as she leaves to collect her daughters and head back to the mortal plane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hee hee hoo hoo the less angsty, more bullshit chunk


	3. my peace has always depended on all the ashes in my wake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Velvet tells. Circe hurts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we hurt too.

Upon making it back down to the mortal plane, where Velvet's party rests, Velvet opens the door to the house her children all live in, ushering her daughters into it with a smile. 

 

"We have Stasya here, Cicero, my adoptive son Salem, my youngest Astaire…"

 

Andromeda perks up. "Momma! You have another kid?"

 

"Yes! He's young still and doesn't have control over magic, so be careful, okay baby?"

 

"Okay!" Andromeda runs off, eager to see her siblings again.

 

"Circ? Calum's here, too, if you ever want to see him. Not in the building, but he fights with me."

 

"He felt as I do." Circe points out, not looking her mother in the eye since their tear filled moment. 

 

Velvet winces at the cold in her voice. "I know. Come, let's go in a different room. I'll tell you what happened to me."

 

Circe looks like she doesn't want to follow, but she does so anyways, the two walking in silence as Velvet takes her to a sitting room.

 

"So what happened, mother? What couldn't you tell me at home?"

 

Velvet sighs. "I have a mother too. She… she's been looking for me for years. She was supposed to keep me. She was promised I'd stay, since I was all she wanted."

 

"...Huh?"

 

"Sweetheart, I wasn't just created like this, like I thought. I grew. I.. I had a mother. She couldn't conceive normally, so a God gave her the child she wanted."

 

"Father?"

 

Velvet smiles thickly, looking up at her daughter. "No. Mirra. Your father's brother."

 

Circe looks confused. "But he's evil. He wouldn't…"

 

She shakes her head. "I know what your father has told you. But he isn't. I've met him, and he's a wonderful God. He's very kind. He gave my mother a baby, me. He promised her that she could keep me. But when the time came and I was born, I was snatched away by Solaric, kept from knowing, and Solaric's hatred for his brother led him to lock him on the moon with no escape, not without his crown. The crown that made its way down."

 

"...You mean Mirra has the crown again?"

 

"He does."

 

"We have to go tell fa-"

 

"No. No we don't. We need to let this all be fixed otherwise. Mirra won't fight his brother."

 

Circe looks infuriated, like she wants to rush to her father and tell him everything. Always a daddy's girl. But she doesn't. She paces instead.

 

"So Mirra tried to give her a child again. He gave my mother more kids. Three more, in fact, but two were miscarriages," Velvet rubs her own stomach, wincing at the thought, "You have an aunt. She doesn't have nearly the capabilities I do, since Mirra didn't have the power, but she's so, so strong still. Beautiful, like you. I think you two would get along wonderfully."

 

Circe closes her eyes, forcing the anger down, the damage she feels.

 

"Mother? After you left, father… lost it. Completely."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"He lost his Sun Crown. He threw a fit. Alcara and Achilles died. Mother, it was horrific. I never wanted you back more in my life. He was angry, more than usual."

 

She frowns, tightening her jaw and standing to embrace her daughter, though she's pushed away.

 

"You were supposed to protect us all! And you left! You left, and Calliope broke down, and more siblings died! Andromeda cried for over a year for you! She missed you more than anything, and you left and never looked back! Don't make it seem like you came back for us, because you didn't! You came back in hopes father would love you again, but you know he won't! You know he doesn't love any of us anymore! We're nothing to him. Are we nothing to you, too? There's seventeen of us left! Sixteen if you count Calliope, since she's who knows where. Fourteen if you take away the Charlie's, the terrors that they are. They teased Maeda relentlessly. That she's a bastard child, that she's father's least favorite, everything. And where were you? Off with some other man, having another kid! You left us all, mother! You abandoned us! While father took his anger out on us, you danced around with the mortals."

 

Velvet's eyes widen, tears spilling over, as she takes in every last word her daughter says to her. She knows Circe is right. She knows she's fucked up big time. She knows she can't make this up to her family. Not anymore.

 

"Circe… baby, I'm so sorry. I know that doesn't make up for what's happened to you. Nothing could. I don't… I don't expect you to ever forgive me. I don't want you to. I love you more than I could ever say, though. I promise, I'm going to do all I can to be a better mother for you now. Even though it will never make up for what I've done. I love you, baby." She wraps her arms around her daughter, both of their frames shaking, one in heartbreak and the other in anger and sadness over getting her anger towards her mother off her chest. She takes a minute to hug her back, but once she does, the two sob together once more, tired and depressed.

 

\-----

 

Calum wakes the next morning, the door to his siblings house wide open. Upon going in Calum sees his mother and older sister on the couch, wrapped in each other's arms amx his younger sister next to them with Stasya on the couch across, all asleep, as Cicero looks out on them in a small shred of sanity, of understanding. Calum doesn't want to interrupt, but he finds himself on the couch with Stasya anyways, surrounded by his family once more.

**Author's Note:**

> shit, fuck,


End file.
